So many of the bloggers I read write purty. They corral a bunch of words and make them do all kinds of tricks that make me ooh and aah and say, Boy howdy, how do they make those critters do that?
After I read their posts, I start thinking that I need to get me one of them poet lariats and lasso me some of those big words and teach them a thing or two. I’ve hung around the corral enough to recognize a big word when I see one, so the problem is not with my sight; I just can’t steer them in the right direction, no matter how many puns I make. Even if I caught one, which is highly unlikely since I don’t know how to use a rope, I’m not sure what I would do with it after I got it. They have pointy horns, y’all.
Some of you don’t even need a lasso; you tame them with your voice, like some kind of word-whisperer. Then the words do whatever you tell them to do. How do y’all do that?
*******The above portion of this blog was brought to you by my inner Texan********
Dick and Jane, along with their pets, Spot and Puff, taught me how to read in the first grade, and while I can read just about anything, I have never been able to write much beyond that level. In fact, my blog is suitable for your average 11-12 year old who is in sixth grade. How do I know? I went to www.read-able.com and typed in my website address. This could explain why I often feel like the only non-grownup in the room.
If I have visited your blog, you know that this extends to the comments I make. I often write one or two paragraphs in the comment box, reread them, and decide I had better erase them to save myself embarrassment. Then I write, “I see the words, The words are good. I see the good words. Run, Spot, run. Come see the good words.” I know I’m exaggerating; I hardly ever express myself that well but on better days I do.
In spite of that, I have received several awards in the past month. I assume this is because you think I really am an 11 year-old hiding behind the gravatar of a more mature woman and are impressed that I have a blog. Or maybe it’s my juvenile sense of humor.
For whatever reason, both Susan at susanwritesprecise and Elyse at fiftyfourandahalf were kind enough to nominate me for the Awesome Blogger Award which involves writing something about yourself using the ABCs. I just put my blocks away or I would take pictures of them for the list. The links to Susan and Elyse are to the posts that have the nominations. Please be sure to read more of their posts.
Things I like:
Before we go further, raise your hand if you read the word for U as underpants. That’s what I thought. Although I like underpants, it’s the underparts, or hidden parts of stories, and lives that I find interesting.
These same two writers, Susan and Elyse, nominated me for the Kreativ Blogger Award, which requires me to write 10 things about myself.
- I thought Kreativ was spelled “creative.”
- Nine times out of ten I write “blooger” instead of “blogger.”
- I like the word “blooger.”
- My cat, Puff, likes the word “blooger.”
- I don’t have a cat.
- I have an ice orchid.
- I think some of you reading this will google ice orchid.
- I am already counting the days to summer vacation.
- I am planning to go to Europe this summer.
- I am planning not to fulfill the requirements of these awards.
Elyse has a soft spot in her heart for junior high bloggers and also nominated me for the Red Educational Shoe Award. Thankfully I don’t have to write anything about myself, just nominate five supportive commentators. Here are some of the top commentators listed on my dashboard. My mom and I thank you.
Worrywarts-guide-to-sex-and-marriage
RAB at youknowwhatimeant
Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
The last award I want to mention is the 7×7 Link Award from vixytwix at stayoutofmyhead. She also has a lot of good things to say, so be sure to read more of her posts. The requirements for this one are as follows:
1. Share something about me that no one knows
2. Link 7 of my posts that I think are worthy
3. Nominate 7 bloggers for this award and notify them
Number 1: I often don’t want to push the publish button.
Number 2: Here are the 7 posts I think are worthy by virtue of being some of my oldest posts:
People I have a hard time trusting
After finding a cure for breast cancer, would someone please answer my question
Number 3: Here are the 7 bloggers I nominate:
It’s always hard to pick other blogs because there are so many good ones. I didn’t want to nominate people that I know have already received awards. Enjoy your reading.
I have to go now, I hear my mom calling.
All awards are richly deserved…I have a couple of awards to acknowledge myself so I best get to writing that post. I enjoy your comments nearly as much as your posts, so don’t know what that says about me. I’m going to put my blog address into that website and hold my breath when I hit the button.
Well, 12 to 13 year-olds can read my stuff, but I’m sure they wouldn’t be caught dead doing so. Sigh.
Purty nice awards…..congrats!
Thanks, the awards are purty.
Well deserved awards. And some of the smartest and wittiest people I know are 12 and 13 year olds, or at least retain the love of life and mischief so typical of that age. Besides, big words do not good-writing make, even Strunk and White agree on that! Thanks for all the fun links to explore.
Thanks, Patti. I hope before I die, I make it to 13. 🙂
Congrats on the awards — you have an awesome, kreative, AND educational blog here.
And you are obviously way beyond me, words wise. Cause I just checked my posts at http://www.read-able.com and learned that mine is geared, not for the “aging gracelessly” set, but for 9 and 10 year olds. I bet they got a HUGE laugh out of the “Fucking Sale” post I did last week …
That was fun. I don’t quite understand though, why they also measure the SMOG in a post. I try not to eat beans before posting.
Elyse, now I know why I like you – as writer’s we are the same age. 🙂 Ask your mom if you can come over some afternoon.
OK. But I DO NOT PLAY WITH DOLLS.
wow … that was a lot of awards, and whole lotta links … that should keep me busy for a while … of course, after I googled ice orchid and bumped across some rather militant sounding flower people who are very angry about the whole idea, I realized I should probably leave that one alone … still not quite sure what an ice orchid is all about, but I’m absolutely certain they are not permitted … apparently you like to live on the edge. thanks for sharing all the links … I’m off to explore in every direction (except NOT in the direction of ice orchids, just in case any militant flower people are listening). Adios, mi amiga (says my inner Texan to yours) … muy bueno stuff! You is funny.
p.s. isn’t chocolate supposed to come AFTER dinner? =D
Clever. 🙂
So glad you enjoyed the post. I had no idea people were upset about the orchids. I have brought mine to bloom twice by feeding it just 2 or 3 ice cubes a week. One of these days, I’ll post pictures.
Please eat some good Mexican food for me. I sure do miss it.
what is your preference? enchiladas, puffy tacos, or chicken fajitas? Or some other deliciousness? tamales? I’ll do my best to remember to think of you next week when I make green chicken enchiladas with spanish rice and frijoles … I’ve got it penciled in for either Wednesday or Thursday … you still have time to book a flight. =D
If I didn’t have those pesky classes I have to teach…
Me too on blooger – I really wish I was going to go to Europe this summer (this wish may keep me from going out to eat tonight). Where are you going?
We’ll go to Budapest, where my brother is, then over to London for a week. After that, maybe Ireland. Not sure. Are you all thinking about going?
My goal is to eat out less and save money to go to Amsterdam, Paris, Geneva, and the country my son ends up in with the Peace Corps. So far we have gone out to dinner for the past four nights (including last night right after I read this post). I want to go to Budapest and Ireland to . . . so many countries, so little time . . . so many restaurants . . . . I may just have to read about your trip.
Well, to begin with, I have raise my hand…I did read it as underpants. Congratulations on your awards and thank you for the nominations! You are awesome!
Even I kept reading it as underpants, and I wrote it!
I read if about three times, and got underpants every time … I was still trying to figure out if you kept the hidden parts of your stories in your underpants, and if so, how they managed to escape and still wind up on the screen … thanks for finally clearing that one up … all those stories jumping around in there were creeping me out a little bit, but who am I to judge?
Congratulations! I love your blog and the way you write:)
Thank you, riatarded.
Prizes and and wins and awards, Oh MY! Well done, well earned and totally *fly*!
You need no lariat, Honey, you capture it all with your innate personal magnetism. Even your prize-acceptance speeches are prizewinners.
Thank you for sharing with me, too! In lieu of a prize, you’re welcome to take me along to Budapest and London and Ireland . . . naaah, who doesn’t need a cool pair of red shoes, I mean really!!! 😉
PS–ntexas99, you *do* understand that chocolate IS dinner, right? 🙂 (Experienced insight courtesy of kathryningrid, also in NTX!)
chocolate as dinner? you people are too wild for me!!!!
Kathryn, if I could I would certainly invite you on my travels. You not only write great posts, you write great comments. Thanks so much.
Dear Yearstricken, Writing is just communication… some do it with music, and some do it with a kiss, and some do it with words they learned at their mother’s breasts, and some with words they nearly broke their jaws trying to learn. And words are a great mystery… how you can put them together, and expose a little of your soul between them. If you ever wonder about the magic of it all, just have google translate for you from some foreign language. That is an educational experience. I like the way you write, and if ten year olds are able to understand you, and an old fellow like myself too, that’s a sign that your on your way to being universal, which is what art is all about. Look at Mark Twain. A lot of ten year olds understood him too. And from what I read, some older folks didn’t… so I don’t put so much emphasis on age. It really isn’t that important. Thank you very much for nominating me for the 7×7 award. I have been nominated for a few awards, and I have tried as best I could to extricate myself without offending those who wished to be nice to me. I don’t want any prizes. I come from a different culture, in which people don’t walk around with medals on their chest, and it is usually an embarrassment to one of us, to get a prize or an award. For me, it is my reward that you read my blog from time to time, and respond here and there, and I don’t see your response as being some kind of obligation of friendship. When I see this snowstorm of awards, I feel like I’ve fallen into a Montessori kindergarten without having meant to. And I’m scared to death that I may tread on some child’s toy. Please accept my humble excuses, and my personal admiration for your writing. I love it.
ShimonZ, you have expressed much of what I feel myself and it ties in with a post I’ve been thinking about writing. I hope you don’t mind if I quote some of what you said.
Don’t think twice about not doing anything with the award. I would like to point more people to your blog only because I enjoy both your writing and your photography. I think others will find it as delightful as I have.
Please feel free to quote me whenever you want on any subject. I thank you for your support, and appreciate your kindness.
Thank you for your award, it is greatly appreciated.
I am glad you do overcome your reluctance to push the publish button as I think you have a natural way with words and I always find your posts a pleasure to read.
Keep on pushing!
Yo! CONGRATS SAM FLOWERS 🙂 🙂 🙂
Why thank you Noeleen 😉
Thanks for your encouragement, Sam. I’m sure others will enjoy your blog as much as I do.
I will reply with my results.
This page has an average level of about Grade 5. It should be easily understood by 10 to 11 year olds. Is that play date still open?
There was something about smog and fog…must be a magic trick. Complex words = 4.78%.
Just remember – the English language does not comply to strict standards.
Tweet this result? Are you serious. My Mum won’t let me.
Don’t you love that readability site?
I wish we could easily get together with all of our blog friends.
Congrats! It sure has been award season! Thanks for the red educational shoe award. I never heard of it but I want them! What I really need is young feet! Btw, I like booger better than blooger! I know what that is! I love what you do to the English language!
Well, so far no one’s charged me with attempted murder of the English language, so I feel safe. I think a good definition for blooger would be a blogger who makes lots of bloopers. Maybe I’m gonna need to change my blog name to that.
I’d say the praise is well-deserved!
Thanks.
This was far too cute. Love the Dick and Jane. Made me laugh out loud. Don’t kid yourself you have a way with the word Tex.
I just went to that website. You should be mighty proud you are a whole grade higher than me. TEE HEE
Thank you for the compliment. I bought a Dick and Jane reprint for my grandchild and we both enjoy it.
Loved this post. I just blundered onto your site, and am in awe of such a talent! I’ve only read a few of your posts (so far), but am firmly convinced the accolades are much-deserved. I giggled myself silly over the “poet lariat” bit…I hail from Buckaroo country – the Great Basin of northeastern Nevada, Elko County to be exact. We got us a few a them poet lariats there…’smatter a fact, the National Cowboy Poetry Gathering is just a couple of weeks away…
Thank you for reading and commenting. I hope you are planning to go to the Cowboy Poetry Gathering – sounds like it would be great fun. By the way, I like your online name.
I just took that readability test too and I am in the same grade as you yearstricken.
Is there any one among us whose blog is suitable for at least a High School audience?!
I entered the web-address for WordPress itself and it was deemed suitable for an audience up to the age of thirteen years old! I then tried the British Financial Times with its complex financial jargon and its age was higher – up to fourteen!
Oh well, I just need to face facts and ready myself and all of yourselves for a stream of posts about Justin Bieber!
I’m going to have to ask you not to use words like Justin Bieber on this blog. Thank you for understanding.
Thanks for reading. It looks like a lot of us never made it to high school as far as our writing goes.
Thank you so much for the mention. 😉
You are welcome. You have a delightful blog; I hope many more people find it.
I’m still cracking up: “I see the words. The words are good. I see the good words.”
Unlike you, I close my eyes and hit “Post Comment.”
And this is how you end up with never-ending souped-up paragraphs of rambling me on your blog because I’m so excited about what you’ve written.
Even your award posts are hilarious. I am so glad to call you my fellow blooger. 🙂
Don’t you think we should start using “blooger” and telling people it’s a mashup of blogger and blooper. I definitely think it should be in your dictionary.
Please come ramble on my blog anytime. I love reading what you write.
I burst out with my machine gun laugh when I read the line, “I see the words, The words are good. I see the good words. Run, Spot, run. Come see the good words.” At which point, my husband looked at me and said, “WHUT?” (not to be confused with ‘what’). My fifth grade mind likes the good words it reads here!
BTW – Yes, I guess I really do have a fifth grade mind because my page is readable for 5th graders in the 10 – 11 year old range. My mama DID raise her an idiot!
It makes me happy that you appreciate my Dick and Jane sentences. Sometimes I think I would be much better off if I would write short, clear sentences like that.
That 5th to 6th grader reading level seems to be the sweet spot for most blogs. Interesting, isn’t it?
I’ll just bet that our friend, Kathryn Sparks, writes at 11th grade level! She knows a whole lot of those complex words and remembers to use them!
I think you may be right.