I got my poetic license!


Long before I started blogging, I wanted a poetic license. But like so many of my dreams, I let go of it and tried to move on with my life. Blogging rekindled my desire and with the support and urging of my imagination, I decided to apply.


I had to submit all of my blog posts, and that was scary because I have a number of posts  that are about things that actually happened. I was afraid there would be too much truthy stuff on my blog, which would disqualify me.


The rules for getting a poetic license are strict, but thankfully only 70% of your writing (or in my case, typing) needs to comply. After several weeks of fact checking, the review board discovered that the majority of what I type is pure nonsense and includes only a modicum of truth. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me, to say nothing of my imagination, who suddenly feels vindicated.


I hope you all don’t mind me bragging a bit, but I’m happy this morning and feel like my efforts have finally paid off. I guess dreams do come true sometimes.


56 thoughts on “I got my poetic license!

  1. Damn it you are too funny and now you have a free pass to write purple prose. Life isn’t fair!!!! In all honesty though, I’m glad you got the license and are legit. I hope you’ll keep associating with those of us don’t yet have our credentials 😉

    • I’ve spent all morning gathering violet verbs, purple nouns, mulberry adjectives, and plum phrases, and I can hardly wait to start writing.

      Don’t worry about the credentials. Asking to see your license would be like asking to see your knickers. It isn’t done on this blog.

  2. Congratulations on getting your license! Just remember, don’t abuse it–you don’t want the police in Prosaic to seize it for reckless writing. I’m glad to see your photo is on it, so it can be used for identification purposes.

    • Thanks for the warning, RAB. I’ll try to make sure there is always a reck in my writing.

      I am planning to print and laminate the license, and the next time they ask for my ID when I buy a bottle of wine, I will show them that.

  3. Obviously you must have done quite well on the rules of the road to writing test, (there are no rules), and with the parallel parking of prosaic prose requirement, (one thing leads to another, which makes two things together), and clearly you passed your eye exam, (as in, eye can now write purple poetry and prose ad infinitum). Congratulations on obtaining your license. You’ve earned every purple pixelated piece of it, and then some. Write on!

  4. I applied for my license some time ago, however they told me that I needed to make appointments at the Ministry of Morose Metaphorism, the Cabinet of Excessive Enjambment and 14 hours apprenticing with the Board of Iambic Pentematricality. I am still waiting for them to pencil me in for those appointments…

    • Most states have those regulations. To avoid that I used a mail-order company that charges just $50 and reviews your words. You can also get a doctorate for just $200, which I quite interested in because I’ve always wanted to be a doctor.

  5. Oh, great. Another level of bureaucracy to deal with. I don’t even know where to go to apply… Is there a fine for writing without a poetic license as if you have one? Do you get your writing seized if you aren’t properly licensed? *quickly hiding the evidence*

    • My credentials as a failed poet are well documented, so I sought the poetic license. I need to move beyond mere typing to writing before I would consider trying to get a literary license.

  6. It’s a beautiful thing indeed and none more deserving of the honor than you. I’m holding out for Blithering Idiot accreditation and feel I’m getting *very* close to that one. Not sure I can aspire to something as high as the beauty you’ve achieved here. Kudos!!! I have faith that you will use it wisely and well, my dearest!

  7. Where is the line for the said licensing. I need one of those, lest my prose get me arrested.

    I think I may be caught in one of those catch 22’s though; as I haven’t been paid for my poetic writing yet, and I don’t have the $50.00 to give them. Will they take an I.O.U. ?

  8. There are so many comments here!

    Anyway, congraulations on getting your well-deserved licence! Be careful to not become corrupt in the knowledge that you are officially now a better poet than most!

  9. John Payne

    You wouldn’t believe how much trouble I have been through trying to contact the Poetic License Administration. I’m really happy for you that you have yours now but..really?..has it come to this? Enough government intrusion!

    I found this blog while doing research on the penalties and such associated with writing prose without a poetic license.

    Poetic License

    There was a youth of poetic contrivance,
    who wrote his thoughts in rhyming guidance.
    Seeing the law approaching,
    he hid prose he was poaching
    and was hauled off in wails of sirens.

    Arrested for writing without compliance,
    he was read rights to keep his silence.
    Confessing he was fairly smitten,
    surrendered words he had written
    and devoted his life to science.

    John Payne

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