Long before I started blogging, I wanted a poetic license. But like so many of my dreams, I let go of it and tried to move on with my life. Blogging rekindled my desire and with the support and urging of my imagination, I decided to apply.
I had to submit all of my blog posts, and that was scary because I have a number of posts that are about things that actually happened. I was afraid there would be too much truthy stuff on my blog, which would disqualify me.
The rules for getting a poetic license are strict, but thankfully only 70% of your writing (or in my case, typing) needs to comply. After several weeks of fact checking, the review board discovered that the majority of what I type is pure nonsense and includes only a modicum of truth. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me, to say nothing of my imagination, who suddenly feels vindicated.
I hope you all don’t mind me bragging a bit, but I’m happy this morning and feel like my efforts have finally paid off. I guess dreams do come true sometimes.
year-struck 
Oh, I want one.
Write enough nonsense and you may be eligible.
Actually, I had one but…..it was revoked for WUI (writing under the influence) which resulted in manuscript manslaughter. I must attend classes and do community service in order to regain it.
Did you attempt to murder the English language? I think if succeed in doing that, your words will come back to haunt you.
Ahaha, sorry to intrude, this tickled me 😀
Ooh good, is that a prerequisite for a literary license??? What a fun post.
Since I am a failed poet, I thought this was a good place to start.
Congratulations and Best Wishes!! 🙂
Thank you. Getting this license is right up there with a bowling trophy I won in middle school or thereabouts. I think it was for participation.
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I’m sure a celebratory party is in order..”By Invitation only” of course..My address is..
Meet me at Heartbreak Hotel at 7 p.m. I’ll be in the Elvis suit.
See. I told you you were a poet.
For some reason that reminds me of the little poem we used to say as kids:
You’re a poet,
Your feet show it,
They’re Longfellows.
Damn it you are too funny and now you have a free pass to write purple prose. Life isn’t fair!!!! In all honesty though, I’m glad you got the license and are legit. I hope you’ll keep associating with those of us don’t yet have our credentials 😉
I’ve spent all morning gathering violet verbs, purple nouns, mulberry adjectives, and plum phrases, and I can hardly wait to start writing.
Don’t worry about the credentials. Asking to see your license would be like asking to see your knickers. It isn’t done on this blog.
Champagne and chocolate are in order (or margaritas!). You need a picture of yourself throwing your hat in the air. After all, you have finally made it!
After a few margaritas, I’m afraid I would be throwing other garments in the air and it would not be a pretty picture.
Priceless.
I wish. Actually it cost $50. 🙂
Congratulations on getting your license! Just remember, don’t abuse it–you don’t want the police in Prosaic to seize it for reckless writing. I’m glad to see your photo is on it, so it can be used for identification purposes.
Thanks for the warning, RAB. I’ll try to make sure there is always a reck in my writing.
I am planning to print and laminate the license, and the next time they ask for my ID when I buy a bottle of wine, I will show them that.
“Legal” is so over-rated. One way or the other, the whole issue’s moot. You’ve got your license!
So is “normal.” But having a license makes me feel safer.
Obviously you must have done quite well on the rules of the road to writing test, (there are no rules), and with the parallel parking of prosaic prose requirement, (one thing leads to another, which makes two things together), and clearly you passed your eye exam, (as in, eye can now write purple poetry and prose ad infinitum). Congratulations on obtaining your license. You’ve earned every purple pixelated piece of it, and then some. Write on!
Thanks. I’ve been euphoric all day. Oddly, my husband keeps going in the other room to talk to people on the phone. I heard him say something about needing professional help. I hope he’s okay.
🙂
(maybe he misplaced his license)
(is license lending allowed?)
(in that case, I’ll take two, to go)
Congratulation on obtaining your poetic license. Where is heartbreak hotel? I would hate to miss the party.
Do you know where Lonely Street is? It’s right next to that empty lot full of broken dreams. You can’t miss it.
I applied for my license some time ago, however they told me that I needed to make appointments at the Ministry of Morose Metaphorism, the Cabinet of Excessive Enjambment and 14 hours apprenticing with the Board of Iambic Pentematricality. I am still waiting for them to pencil me in for those appointments…
Most states have those regulations. To avoid that I used a mail-order company that charges just $50 and reviews your words. You can also get a doctorate for just $200, which I quite interested in because I’ve always wanted to be a doctor.
I’d love to enter my congratulations, but I’m just not in the same league as your other commenters. Maybe it’s because I already have my artistic license!?!
oh, this made me laugh! clever girl
Oohh! You are way ahead of the rest of us.
Oh, great. Another level of bureaucracy to deal with. I don’t even know where to go to apply… Is there a fine for writing without a poetic license as if you have one? Do you get your writing seized if you aren’t properly licensed? *quickly hiding the evidence*
Please see above where RAB warns about reckless writing without a license. I don’t know that a license is necessary, but I a timid thing and like to play it safe.
Poetic license? Artistic license? Literary license? Will the bureaucracy ever end?
P.S. Congratulations!
My credentials as a failed poet are well documented, so I sought the poetic license. I need to move beyond mere typing to writing before I would consider trying to get a literary license.
It’s a beautiful thing indeed and none more deserving of the honor than you. I’m holding out for Blithering Idiot accreditation and feel I’m getting *very* close to that one. Not sure I can aspire to something as high as the beauty you’ve achieved here. Kudos!!! I have faith that you will use it wisely and well, my dearest!
You do have high aspirations, Kathryn. I personally feel that I have the qualifications and others have hinted that I do, but for now I will be satisfied with this achievement.
Congratulations! I want one too. Nearly everything I write is pretty far from the truth.
You should definitely apply then.
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Thanks for the clue.
For a minute I though this was some crazy American REAL trophy!
That made me smile. Americans do some crazy things, so it could be true. 🙂
Congratulations! I came close to getting my poetic license once, but I choked and completely blew the written test.
Did you choke on your own words? That would be terrible. The key is to write more nonsense and, of course, have $50.
My grammer sux and so does my spelling so do I qualify. 🙂
I think the key is to have a lot of nonsense with just a modicum of truth.
Where is the line for the said licensing. I need one of those, lest my prose get me arrested.
I think I may be caught in one of those catch 22’s though; as I haven’t been paid for my poetic writing yet, and I don’t have the $50.00 to give them. Will they take an I.O.U. ?
Just use your copy machine to make copies of some cash. I often do that. 🙂
Oh, now I must have one of these. Congratulations. I shall have a second cupcake in celebration today.
Isn’t it nice to have a reason for a second cupcake?
Man…I’m always the last to know about these things! Did someone else get my memo? There’s a lot of that around. Probably thieving by those poetic (ahem) licensees… The two things go together, you know.
Check your spam. That’s where I heard about them.
There are so many comments here!
Anyway, congraulations on getting your well-deserved licence! Be careful to not become corrupt in the knowledge that you are officially now a better poet than most!
Your comment made me smile.
You wouldn’t believe how much trouble I have been through trying to contact the Poetic License Administration. I’m really happy for you that you have yours now but..really?..has it come to this? Enough government intrusion!
I found this blog while doing research on the penalties and such associated with writing prose without a poetic license.
Poetic License
There was a youth of poetic contrivance,
who wrote his thoughts in rhyming guidance.
Seeing the law approaching,
he hid prose he was poaching
and was hauled off in wails of sirens.
Arrested for writing without compliance,
he was read rights to keep his silence.
Confessing he was fairly smitten,
surrendered words he had written
and devoted his life to science.
John Payne