Why do drivers think I will go faster if they get so close that I can see their nose hairs? I don’t have any extra nose tweezers for them, and if I did, how would I give the tweezers to them. Throw the nose hair clippers violently through their windshield while doing 65 mph? Hmm, that actually sounds quite nice.

I need a bumper sticker that says, “I brake QUICKLY for tailgaters.” Or maybe, “I BREAK arms and legs of tailgaters.”

Wish me luck on my morning commute. It looks grumpy outside today.