Women with skinny hips. I find them neither funny nor fair. From behind, it may look like I’m carrying small squirrels in my hip pockets, but these are genuine Texan saddlebags. If you’re from Texas, you’re authorized to carry them with you wherever you go. It’s on your birth certificate. In fact, they are de rigueur, and define my figure, which is getting bigger. Whoa, Trigger. You need to get off that horse.

All right, folks, move away from the rhyme scene, nothing to see here.

Where was I? Oh yes, I have a hard time trusting women with skinny hips. While I love all things Japanese, including the people, I still haven’t quite gotten over my resentment at all those skinny-hipped women. For them, it’s probably genetic, so it’s more forgivable, but for the rest of you, there’s no excuse. You should know better.