If I hadn’t been sailing around in a fog for the last month, I would have gotten my t-shirt made and would be wearing it today. I planned on it, thought about it, bookmarked the website, and just in time didn’t do it. Folks, I post more pone than most people ever dream about; in fact, I put the “Pro” in procrastination. Now that it’s too late to wear the t-shirt, I will get right on it and show you my creation as soon as I actually get it done, which will be sometime between now and Christmas, whichever comes last.
I also failed to find out where the nearest Krispy Kreme donut shop is. Online (here) I read that you will get a big surprise if you walk into one of their donut shops and say, “Arrr! Avast! Ahoy! Betwattled or be marooned, you chocolate-bellied, sugar-sprinkled landlubber! Hand over the booty! I be needin’ a free donut!” The website says you will be given a free donut if you talk like that, but the real surprise could be that you will be restrained and held against your will until the police arrive. Apparently, if you wear full pirate regalia and talk like that, you will receive a dozen donuts. I suppose it’s worth a try. The worst that could happen is that you end up at a place where lots of other people talk like pirates, think they are Napoleon, or think they are some kind of god. (And no, I’m not talking about your workplace.)
But back to the day and my shivering timbers. Pirate talk is a combination of growling German Shepherd, Dutch, Irish, and High Deppish (derived from classical John). So, to celebrate, I thought I would splice the main brace and add a wee bit of rum to me coffee, then crack me some cackle fruit to scramble. Unfortunately, I don’t have any rum or eggs in the house. Also, I have to go to work and arriving there squiffy is frowned upon by me Captain, who could very well make me walk the plank to meet Davy Jones.I don’t know about you, but he’s not someone I want to monkee around with.
Spit wit’ ye eye to eye later.
If you want to translate your words into Pirate, go here.
year-struck 
By all means, yearstricken, get some rum as soon as possible!
Alas, here it is days later and I am still rum-less.
I was following along quite well, till I got to that phrase, “I don’t have any rum. . .”. Whaaat??? But I’m proud to say, I’m wearing my pirate skull tat on my forearm in honor of the day and I got no plans to swab any decks.
It seems that lack of rum is a kind of moral failing in a pirate.
I be ready to report to me captain with the word I say EVERY day: “Arrrrrrrrh!”
Come all ye swabbies and frosh, grip them ink-sticks in yer paws and shiver me timbers!
Yer mate under the Jolly Roger, RA
I love “ink-sticks.” My timbers shiver every single time I go to work.
Glad to be sailing with you, RA.
Is this blog Aaarrr rated?
I wish I had thought of that. 🙂
Arrrg, I forgot about it too. Where is my damn parrot?
I’m making a note to myself for next year. That way I’ll be sure to forget again.
I forgot about it also! I received a quick email this morning as a reminder. Thanks for the fun pirate translation site – I forwarded it on to a few of my landlubber mates. 🙂
I hope you found good use of the translator.
The heck with the rum! Where are the gold doubloons!
I would settle for gold single-loons: wouldn’t that be ducky.
Why is the rum always gone?
My very question.
Now if only I knew the arrr-got!
Another clever pirate!
And do you know why pirates are always so bad-tempered?
I’ve just gotten back from a raid, so now I’m ready to know. Why are pirates always so bad-tempered?
Nobody really knows, they just ARRRGhhhh!
🙂
My timbers were shivered after reading this post. 😉
I hope your timbers have stopped shivering now.
A cup of hot tea and a warm blanket helped.
As always, your prose has left me gasping. (this time in tears from laughter).
So glad it made you laugh.
“The cabin boy, the cabin boy, was a feisty little nipper, he stuffed….” Oops wrong forum for that one…lol
Thank you for recognizing that in time.
Thank you for responding to my…questionable comment, matey.
By the way, even though you’ve probably already got one, I’ve nominated you for a sunshine award. thanks for all the awesome lighthearted moments and the beautiful ones too. Pass the love 🙂
Thank you so much for the award. I no longer participate in awards (for a number of reasons), but I do appreciate the thought.
“I post more pone than most…” – pretty corny, Matey (I loved it.) I’ve often wondered, “Why do Pirates talk that way”…is it aaaarbitrary? Thanks for the grins.
Punning (as you know) is a kind of sickness. We need sympathy more than condemnation. As to your reasoning why pirates talk that way, I won’t arrggue with you.
The pirate translator!!!! Incredibly good one ….enjoyed the read! 🙂
Glad I found your blog.
Cheers!
Glad you liked the translator. Thanks for reading.