A few weeks ago on my morning walk, I looked up ahead on the sidewalk and noticed a jogger heading my way, pulling a dog on a leash. As soon as my imagination saw the dog, it starting telling me it was the vicious Pit Bull I had read about online.
I considered crossing the street, but there was too much traffic, and I was afraid if I started to run, the dog would attack me in the middle of the street. I edged over as far as I could to allow them plenty of room. The jogger ran along the opposite edge of the sidewalk, leaving the dog between us, no doubt to allow it easy access to my legs. Once I was down, it would be just a matter of time before the dog went after my jugular. Then the jogger could finish her run and get on with the day.
As often happens when I take my imagination out for a walk, the closer the jogger came, the smaller the dog grew. When I squinted, it started to look like a small Doberman Pinscher who had a bone to pick, a bone that belonged to me, the one I carry between my ankle and knee.
The jogger, a young woman wearing Princess Leia earphones and slim hips, drew closer, but never looked at me. She did, however, look at her pooch and repeat three or four times, “Don’t bark!”
Up close, the dog looked a lot like a frisky little Spaniel. When we passed one another, the woman looked straight ahead, lost in her music, but still repeating, “Don’t bark!”
In an effort to be neighborly, I smiled, the sun glinting off my canines, and said, “I’ll try not to.” I was pretty sure she didn’t hear me because of the earphone muffs, so once she had passed me, I barked out loud two times, “Arf! Arf!”
Oddly, I haven’t seen her since, even though I have walked the same route for the last two weeks.
year-struck 
Okay. Two things. Firstly, your comic timing is impeccable, YS. Seriously. Secondly, I have a knack for these sorts of moments in public, so I appreciate you sharing one of your, er, colorful experiences. Happy now!
Thanks, Courtenay. As you know, it’s really hard not to bark when someone keeps telling you not to.
Totally! I’m barking right now!
ha ha ha 🙂
Glad it made you laugh.
So so so very funny, dear Year, and your imagination carries you away…
Some people walk their dogs; I walk my imagination. (Otherwise, it makes a mess in the house.)
Great story. I’ll remember that for the next unfriendly dog-walker I meet. Most of my Texas walkers are friendly, but there are a few who must have gotten in from somewhere else.
Close up the dogs almost always look friendlier.
A fine story… yet it touches my heart, and I worry that the fear of dogs may not be just another literary invention.
I am not usually afraid of dogs, but around certain breeds, I’m cautious.
Just stay away from the fire hydrant, okay?
Don’t tempt me.
Hmmmm…when I see a dog with a jogger on the street, I always assume that they will love me and want to come live with me. That actually did happen once. Fortunately it was just the next door neighbor’s dog and she wanted to keep him. Arf, arf!
I had a dog follow me home once, too. It had tags, so we could call the owners.
I love to laugh out loud first thing in the a.m. Thanks!
Thanks for reading.
Perfect.
Thanks, Elyse.
It is obvious to me that your bark is worse than its bite..
Fortunately, I still have a few inhibitions and biting is one of them.
Especially in the neck area.I vud assume..
Thank you – a real laugh out loud post.
So glad you liked it.
Ha! So funny. Love the picture, too!
I love that picture, too.