Yesterday I had a flare-up and needed an IV

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Hurry! The woman needs an IV and she needs it now!

Yesterday I was reading a blog and came across a sentence about an “alternate lifestyle.”  No doubt, the writer meant “alternative lifestyle.” Alternate in that context would mean rotating or taking turns; alternative, used with lifestyle, means an unconventional or nontraditional choice.

 

But because I really can’t help it, I started imagining a lifestyle where two people alternate.

 

“Okay, honey, now you are me, and I am you.”

 

“Whee, that was fun, now I’m me, and you’re you!”

 

“Let’s try it again.”

 

“Whoa, this alternate lifestyle is life-changing!”

 

After I amused myself for a while, I checked out the author of the blog. It was I, which is good grammar but it sounds wrong because “me” is what we always hear.

 

Yes, I was the blogger who typed alternate instead of alternative. The same blogger who is sometimes a slug, sometimes the Texan Word Slinger, sometimes a mouseburger, and sometimes other personas yet to be revealed. That may be the true “alternate lifestyle,” although maybe it’s multiple personality disorder. (I’ll leave the resolution of that argument to the slug and The Texan Word Slinger.)

 

As you know, from this previous post, I suffer from blog blindness. It’s chronic, intermittent, non-life threatening (so far), and incurable. Yesterday, I had an acute flare-up. So bad, in fact, that I needed intervention.

I needed an IV.

 

I corrected the problem last night, right after I got the IV: Alternate + IV = Alternative.

 

 

Blog blindness and finger tics

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Is there a blog doctor in the house?

You’ve heard of snow blindness, right? Light reflected off snow burns the cornea, causing a temporary visual impairment accompanied by tears, eyelid twitching, and pain.  It usually goes away after 24 to 48 hours.

Well, I have blog blindness. Staring at the computer screen as I write posts causes both my eyes and my brain to go temporarily blind.

Yesterday I had a bad case of it. I spent several hours writing my post, re-read it, uploaded pictures, proofread it again, previewed, and posted. A few hours later I went back to the blog. That’s when the tears, eyelid twitching, and pain began.

In all my proofreading and previewing, I forgot to check the title. Instead of “One chance, one opportunity,” I wrote, “Once chance, one opportunity.” This is what happens when you let just anybody start a blog. Are you listening, WordPress?

I tried to contact WordPress support, but they were all at home polishing off the rest of the turkey and pumpkin pie. I did a little research and discovered how to change the URL. That tidied up my blog, and I thought it solved the problem. But. Yes, there’s always a big but in the story. And usually it’s mine.

Fixing the URL did not change how my post appeared over at the WordPress topics site. I checked, and there was my blog broadcasting my idiocy to all the world. It apparently had not received the message that the URL had changed, had no idea of the words written across its forehead, and was jostling among the other blogs shouting, “Hi, world, I have just once thing to say today.”

And, as if that weren’t enough sickness for one person, I’ve also been suffering from a finger tic. After I write comments and before I can re-read them to see if they make any sense, my finger presses “reply” or “post comment.” Maybe it’s OCFD — obsessive compulsive finger disorder.

Does anyone know of a good doctor for this kind of thing?