Dealing with your dirty laundry


Like you, I have secrets, things that no one else knows, except me (oh, and the NSA, the National Security Agency aka No Secrets Allowed). And like you, I have dirty laundry.


My dirty little laundry secret is that I have opened up my home to an agitator.


Up until last week, I had no idea that Uncle Sam wanted to wipe them all out. Agitators have been part of American life for as long as I remember. Every home used to harbor one. But since 2004, they’ve been banned, or at least highly discouraged, by the people who have one of the highest piles of dirty laundry in the world.


I know agitators are an endangered species because we had to buy a new washing machine.


It's time I got a new washing machine.

It’s time I got a new washing machine.


Open up a new top loading or a front loading washer and see for yourself. Outside of the inside of a Speed Queen you won’t find many agitators. Just big empty tubs that spin. Oddly, the same thing could be said of many of our lawmakers, but that’s beside the point or at least in close proximity.



We bought the Speed Queen after reading reviews, talking to appliance sales clerks, and looking inside our wallets. We’ll use more water than our neighbors with the new high-efficiency washer, but we’ll do fewer loads because it’s just the two of us. I promise.


Have you seen this agitator? Let your government know now!

Have you seen this agitator? Let your government know now!


I’m all for high-efficiency, reducing carbon footprints and muddy footprints, and cleaning up my laundry and my act. I just wish the people who are going after agitators would do the same.



Wanted poster of the agitator courtesy of  © BrokenSphere / Wikimedia Commons


11 thoughts on “Dealing with your dirty laundry

  1. Yes, it’s a shame about the way they outlaw these things we’ve gotten used to… constant change… Back in the old days, every little thing could fit in the whole, and often contribute something to the general welfare. Like your agitator… But now, you’ve got to be white and square to fit in. It’s a miracle they still allow top loading and front loading. I suppose soon they’ll decide which is better, and then outlaw the other kind.

  2. As long as it’s not an OUTSIDE agitator, one would think even the NSA would be satisfied.

    I loved the agitator in my mother’s old washing machine–tall, heavy, white-flecked gray enamel, and MIGHTY. Then one had to haul the wet wash out of the agitator’s territory, the tub, and pack it into the smaller gray cylinder, the spinner. Spin for awhile, then add water with the attached hose, then spin…and repeat until the water ran clear. DOING the laundry was an engaged process. I liked it, but then, I only did it once in a while; my mother was the one who devoted whole chunks of her life to it….

  3. I suppose this means I’ll have to hoard my old (and feeble) agitating version of a washing appliance in the hopes that one day it will become a valuable antique. Especially considering the low mileage. Did I mention I don’t especially love doing laundry? But doing laundry with no agitator? No thanks.

    • I really can’t speak to not having an agitator. I think the high-end machines probably work well without one. If I could afford a high-end machine, I would just get a maid to do the laundry. 🙂

  4. You had me so confused with this one, but it’s my own fault. I misread “agitator” I thought you said “alligator.” It has been quite a busy day.

    That said, I HATE the new washers. They don’t get clothes clean and they take 4 times as long. An alligator would clean them better.

  5. I think that it is very commendable that you have opened your home to an alligator, I didn’t realize that they were endangered.. Until I checked with the CIA (Counting individual Alligators) But please, make sure you are wearing clean underwear in case you’re involved in an accident with it..

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