Frequently Not Asked Questions: Three

Standard

Why is your hair still brown?

 

First, let me say that I have never seen or heard of the color “still brown,” so I cannot answer your question.

 

However, since you asked and made me look, I checked online and discovered that a number of stills are, in fact, brown. My hair color is very close to the still used to make Ukrainian vodka that is pictured in Wikipedia, kindly offered to the world by Arne Hückelheim. So that answers the question you didn’t ask: Is your hair still brown? The answer is yes; however, I much prefer that you call it moonshine brown.

 

Now back to your question. What exactly are you trying to imply? Are you interested in probability theory? Did you suddenly notice the green grass in the picture of the vodka still and realize that I have green eyes? Do find that odd? Or is it just me? More importantly, shouldn’t that last question really be: Or is it just I?

 

Naturally (and that’s what were really talking about when we speak of hair color) all those minor questions lead to the ultimate question: What are the odds of having both brown hair and green eyes?

 

I don’t mind answering that question, but if that is what you are asking, I wish you would have come out and asked me that in the first place.

 

As you know if you have ever taken Biology 301 Biomathematics at the University of British Columbia, Dr. Sarah Otto asked her students that very question in her lecture notes and gave a simple formula to discover the answer based on Bayes’ Rule.

 

P(B|A) = P(B) P(A|B) / P(A)

 

If you are like Dr. Otto, you probably understand this; if you’re like me, you don’t. To me, it looks like someone stuttering in math.

 

(Oddly, the motto at UBC is “a place of mind,” written in lowercase letters. Apparently the Biomathematics department took all of the capital letters to use in its program, so none were left for the motto. The world is full of these small sorrows.)

 

Third (and this is my last attempt to answer your question), I entered the world with dark brown, almost black hair. Somewhere along the way, I lost it and started wearing blond hair. In adolescence I grew tired of that, looked in the mirror one day and noticed I was a brown-haired girl, the literal meaning of brunette, so I forsook blondism. My freshman year in high school, I grew nostalgic, remembered the fun I had as a child and bleached my hair blonde. I didn’t have more fun, so my sophomore year I returned to my roots and went au naturel, hairwise.

 

Fourth, if you must know, my hair color is merely a pigment of my imagination.

 

35 thoughts on “Frequently Not Asked Questions: Three

  1. Playful indeed. Love it. I am pigmented with the odd combination of brown hair and blue eyes. Lately, the brown is become woven with a strange, whitish highlight.

  2. I, too, have moonshine brown hair, although I have never thought of it like that before! and my eyes are either green or brown (they change), so somewhat like the grass, or like the grass as it is drying out. I like moonshine, but to stand in and look at, not to drink. It has been many years since I took math in university, so I could probability figure out what the equation means but not otto-matically. (please notice that the mathematicians did leave us upper case “i”, but not much else.)

  3. You are, as always, very humorous, in your response to this unasked question… but I have to tell you, that I very much enjoy the gray hair acquired with maturity, and find it very beautiful. Yet, if you wish to look the color of a still, I’ll accept your choice without another word… after all, I thoroughly enjoy what comes out of stills, and don’t choose on the basis of color…

    • Somebody needs to open a combined bar and hair salon. All the hair colors would be named after different drinks. And every customer would be satisfied with she looks like, no matter what she looked like.

  4. Chuckle….. Just popping in to see the replys to my reply’s and voila! Here I am perusing your other posts as well… (go figure the odds of that 🙂
    My hair in this picture was a new experiment in transition blond. If you look carefully you can see pink in the ends of it, as that was left over from a Very dark red, almost dark plum color, and the rest was all that was left of the color that Used to be my hair after not one, but two full bleaching sessions. What would that be called? Washed Sunshine yellow maybe?, as opposed to Moonshine brown?
    I tried the experiment of cutting off all the washed sunshine and just wearing my hair in the blended silver and brown of tarnished silver, but the forks kept getting stuck in my hair.
    My youngest daughter tells me that the color suited my skin tones, but somehow, looking so much like my Mother didn’t suit me, so, now I’m wearing the new experiment in the color of dry beach sand. I think the color suits me Much better. If I can get used to seeing me in such short hair perhaps I’ll post a new picture.
    I might have to post a new picture, just so I know what I look like now.

    • Okay, so now you must post a new picture. I want to see your new look. I cut my hair short a few years ago and like the ease of care.

      I think your hair looks beautiful in the picture above.

  5. You have a real future in creating unique names for hair colours. Could you come up with a series of descriptors for the grey to white shades – something other than dull, drab or lifeless could be nice.

    • In the picture on your blog, you look great: nothing dull or drab about it. I never permanently dye my hair; I just use rinses, so every six weeks or so I can see about grayer I’ve grown.

  6. I was always blonde until I wasn’t. Now my blonde has decided to become a sort of colorless version of brown. It is hard to describe the non-color of my hair. Maybe pile of dry dust would be accurate? Or perhaps almost decayed fridge leftovers would be a close match? (if you look very closely it has an almost-but-not-quite greenish-gray undertone that doesn’t really seem to go together with hair). The hair coloring products seem to want to cleverly refer to it as dirty blonde. Dirty? Yes. (but it’s Sunday, so later today it will be clean again). Blonde? No, not even a close proximity to blonde anymore. Who are they kidding? They think that by putting blonde in the name that we are fooled into believing this color has anything at all to do with blonde? Uhm, no. Sorry. Not buying your hooey.

    The one saving grace to having Almost Decayed Fridge Leftovers colored hair is that it is liberally streaked with bits of Fading Puffy Dandelion white and Sticky Cobweb gray. I wish it would hurry up and transition all the way. It’s awfully hard being colorless in such a colorful world. I might even have to resort to wearing silly hats, just to fool myself into believing I still have some color in my life. I think I’ll lean towards shocking neon pink or screaming bright lime. Yep.

  7. I, on the other hand, ventured to dump some Ash Blonde onto my gray a week or so ago. After several years of appreciating the breathtaking effect of swoops of gray through my long tresses, I noticed that I had NO color in any of the hair surrounding my face, and in pictures therefore seemed to have no hair at all. The Ash Blonde swatch exactly matched the colored parts of my hair, I thought, but actually it’s a little redder. It didn’t take on all the gray, of course, regardless of advertising; but there is some color around my face and I no longer look exactly like my mother in her old age…. It will probably rub off in a few days. Growing old gracefully isn’t as easy as it sounds! Let us know about the highlights!

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