Yes, the Green Bay Packers are the WORLD Champions. You may have seen them carried on the shoulders of all those Cheeseheads, looking like so many hors d’oeuvres, very large and helmeted hors d’oeuvres.

 

I find it necessary to capitalize WORLD, in order to emphasize the importance of all things American. (America, We are the World!) We have just finished the WORLD Series in which all the teams in the world competed. Sadly, the world is messed up and Texas lost.

 

What in the world, you ask, does this have to do with anything? Well, I feel sorry for those others, the not-the-world people and those places where they huddle together, places they call countries.

 

We took the best word, and they get the leftovers: planet, globe, cosmos, creation, and universe. Try plugging those in front of champions. See why it makes me sad?

 

We have two choices. First, we can change the word WORLD to U.S.A. or North American (Canada and Mexico don’t count, remember?). Or, we can subjugate and dominate all those other people and their countries until they are part of our new WORLD order.

 

You may be asking, “Is this one of those tricky multiple-choice type quizzes that teachers love to give?” Of course not. Everybody knows it would cost way too much to make new t-shirts, beer mugs, and pennants with the new logo. Plus, world domination is way more fun.