Category Archives: Questions that demand an answer

Why all the fuss about youth in Asia?

Questions that demand an answer, Humor, , ,

 

Why road

Why are we heading in this direction?

 

I do a fair amount of driving. Some of it involves my car, but a lot of it involves driving people crazy. I know every back road to crazy there is and can get you there faster than you can buckle a strait jacket.

 

When I drive my car, NPR (National Public Radio) or WPR (Wisconsin Public Radio) often rides shotgun. They always have something interesting to say, and of course, I have interesting things to say back because, yes, I talk to the radio. Don’t you?

 

Many of their programs allow people to call in with comments and questions, and whenever the topic is healthcare, someone inevitably mentions youth in Asia.

 

What exactly are people so afraid of? Have youth in Asia done something to them? Should I be afraid? Is there some conspiracy going on that people are trying to prevent me from knowing about?

 

I have lived in Asia, and I had no problem with the youth there. Yes, there are a lot them, but I think there are youth everywhere. I’ve seen quite a few at the mall near my house.

 

Dear reader, are you equally troubled and full of questions? I assume you are if you are reading this blog. And I bet I know which question you are asking right now: Are we there yet?

 

Singapore_Road_Signs_-_Warning_Sign_-_Slow_down

 

No, dear friend, not yet. Crazy is just a little further down the road.

 

 

 

Frequently Not Asked Questions: Six

Humor, Questions that demand an answer, , ,

How much money do you make?

 

None.

 

It’s illegal to make money unless you are the federal government, so I’m surprised you would ask me that.

 

New_five_dollar_bill

Please note that Lincoln looks reserved.

 

Like me I’m sure you have bookmarked Article 1, Section 8, Clause 5 of the U.S. Constitution, which grants the federal government the right to “coin” money. That meant gold and silver. Our Founding Fathers distrusted and eschewed* paper money, so they expressly prohibited states from “emitting” it.

 

 

You probably also know that Abraham Lincoln signed the first U.S. federal emission law allowing the government to print bills. In 1862, government IOUs in the form of “greenbacks” began circulating their way throughout the land until they landed in the pockets of the rich. It’s been that way ever since. The government called these bills Tender Notes, which I find rather endearing. Now, of course, the government no longer sends out Tender Notes; instead, they send out Reserve Notes. On our new colorful missives, the government promises that the Federal Reserve Banks have purchased enough U.S. Treasury securities (i.e., government debt) to cover “all debts, public and private.”

 

 

If that doesn’t make you feel secure, I don’t know what would. As a nation, we have debt coming out of the “wazoo” (French for “Congress”), and as of today, it stood (momentarily) at $16,804,904,109.526, give or take 25 cents. An endless supply of debt means an endless supply of securities, which means an endless supply of Reserve Notes promising to cover any and all other debts.

 

 

Please note: The writer of this blog reserves the right to interpret history and facts in a manner that tickles her fancy. If your fancy starts to itch when reading this post, please stop immediately and read your nearest economics book.

 

 

*Use of the word “eschew” entitles any writer or reader of this post the right to liberate one piece of chocolate per writing and/or reading.

 

 

 

 

Frequently Not Asked Questions: Four

Humor, Questions that demand an answer, , , ,

Why do you have that perpetual bedhead look?

 

First, thank you for noticing and pointing it out. Heaven forbid I should go one day without being reminded. Second, why the sudden interest in my hair? The last frequently not asked question was about my still-brown hair. Third, looks are deceiving: it’s not a bedhead; it’s a cowlick.

 

I have a beef with the cow that licked the top of my head with her big slobbery tongue. Since that time, I have lived in a whorl of pain. I am forced to wear left-headed hairstyles, in spite of the fact that I am right-handed. This leads to a lot of mental confusion, which explains much of what you read on this blog.

 

Cow Snout

 

I suppose it’s better than a calf-lick, which happens when the smaller, less slobbery tongue of a calf licks your forehead. In that case, you are forced to face the permanent tuft of hair sticking up. Since my cowlick is on the back of my head, I am able to forget  about it until some kind reader points it out and asks me about it.

 

Although I wear corrective lenses for my focus-challenged eyes, I have yet to find a truly corrective hairstyle. On a website I will not name, one writer mentioned the seriousness of cowlicks. Apparently, they’ve been known to turn hostile and threaten someone’s image. Since reading that, I have grown afraid and keep anticipating turning on the TV and hearing the news anchor say, “Spencer, we’re here at the Cow Palace near San Francisco. The entire building was evacuated earlier this evening during a concert when the cowlick on the singer’s head suddenly stood up and threatened the singer’s image. Our sources tell us this that the cowlick has shown signs of belligerence for years, but no one has been able to get to the root of the problem. Earlier tonight the mayor called in the SWAT team; you can see that they’re lobbing canisters of hair gel and hairspray into the building now. Soon they’ll storm the building with curling irons. It’s been a hairy night for all of us, Spencer, but we’ll be here until the cowlick is forced down.”

 

Thankfully I don’t have an image to threaten, but just knowing that cowlicks threaten some people unnerves me. I guess you could say I’m a tiny bit cowed.

 

Now do you see what I mean about the mental confusion?

 

 

 

Photo: stuartncook on Flicker

pink-ribbon-hear296

After Finding a Cure for Breast Cancer, Would Someone Please Answer My Question?

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It’s Breast Cancer Awareness month, and I want to be serious and say something really profound, but in the midst of so much awareness, I keep pondering a question that I feel demands an answer: why do we call them training bras?

 

I mean, what can you train them to do? When you get them, they already know how to sit up and fetch (in a manner of speaking). But when they grow older, they just lie down and play dead. That’s it. No other tricks, no opposable thumbs, nothing, nada.

 

But since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I want to be supportive. Or at least say something uplifting. Get things off my chest. Make a couple of points. And yes, I know that I am pun-ishing you. I can’t help it. (And the beauty of the internet is that I can’t hear your groaning.)

 

Don’t neglect getting your mammogram and check-ups. Early detection gives you a greater chance of beating the cancer. You can read about some of the latest research at the Susan G. Komen for the Cure foundation. The backstory is inspiring: a promise to a dying sister starts a worldwide movement that has touched millions of lives and helped save many of them.

 

Now I know what I’m going to make my sister promise when I’m on my deathbed. Find out why we call them training bras.